Mervelee Ratty Nembhard is remembering those who are no longer with us with Valdin Legister and
7 others
.
JtSScsupohalnlyncsr i1ul9,olr e2u01d7f ·
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Dealing with Death of Loved Ones
Mervelee Tomlinson
Carer at Carer at Home
In the space of 7 months I have made 2 trips to my beloved country Jamaica for 2 momentous and poignant occasions in my life. I travelled to Jamaica on the 22.12.13, Valdin Legister, my son’s birthday to attend his wedding on New Years Day 01.01.14. I was privileged to spend 4 weeks establishing links with my elderly mum whose health was in steady decline. Mum who had Dementia did not recognised her only daughter, Mervelee Ratty Nembhard but I was blessed in a variety of ways. Because my son was living at home with mum, he had become one of the familiar persons who represented consistency and continuity in her life. In a sense he had taken my place in mum’s heart whilst I was away from the roost.
During my 4 weeks at home I was empowered to get some more insights into the aging processes that are parts of the transitions from birth to death. If I am lucky I might encounter some of the changes I have witnessed throughout my life as a parent, informal and formal carer. If I live to be anywhere near to my mum’s age of 90 years old, I will be blessed with wisdom beyond my age. Now I can honestly say I totally understand the age old adage that my older folks used “once a man twice a child…” Mum went back to being a child who needed attention 24/7 near the end of her life here on earth. I also got a clearer picture of the person I will morph into as I get older, because I am now proud to be compared to my mother, @www.MerveleeConsultancy.uk.
I am saying this because at one stage, I’d be mortified if anyone had the gall to compare me to mum and my grandma. But as the years went by and I decided to delve into my family history, I was dumbfounded to make some discoveries. Whilst in Jamaica I took the opportunity to put some of my studies at Lambeth College and the The Open University that I had done about the young and elderly to good use. I pondered to mum’s every needs, applying techniques to revise her memories despite her dementia. I sang with her, talked about her loved ones who had gone on before and did all in my power to preserve her dignity. It was truly amazing to witness mum being so humble and grateful whenever anyone did her a good turn.
This reminded me so much of some of the vulnerable children with whom I worked over the years. The vulnerable children and adults are relying on the practitioners and other health care professionals to provide for their diverse and complex needs, Disabilities. I felt a sense of purpose when I can implement early intervention strategies from studies and trainings to meet the needs of any vulnerable human being. I must confess that I had a few eye opening experiences being with mum, before heading back to the United Kingdom where duty call. That meant I could not stay with mum to celebrate her 90th birthday, but I left with the convictions that I would not be seeing her alive again.
Back in the UK I was kept up to date with her progress as per usual. Then after doing Cancer Research UK Race for Life in honour of my brother who died of Colon Cancer in 2008, on the 30th May in Clapham. I had this strange feelings before going to bed and I just could not stop crying. I can say as part of my beliefs that my loved ones who had gone on before had reached out to prepare me about mum’s passing in advance. In the middle of the night I was woken up by the telephone call I was dreading and was in tuned to the time when mum drew her last breathe. After getting the news I spent the following weeks making preparations for going home to bury mum. This was one of the hardest couple of weeks I had encountered, but I took things in my stride and carried on at Luton Street LEYF Nurseries.
I drafted the Eulogy and remembrance since I am the one responsible for documenting the family history during those couple of weeks. I continued working as hard as ever, burning the candle at both ends to meet my targeted outcomes. I went back to Jamaica to bury mum, but decided with my siblings that this was a time for the family to celebrate a life well spent. I got home and took part in the preparations, said I was not going to cry, but on the day of the funeral it was a different story completely. I left home in good spirit, walked up to the casket, looked at mum lying there so quiet and life less, touched her face and hands. I guess that’s when the reality that mum was gone hit home and I could not stop the tears from flowing. So I cried and paced up and down until there were no more tears.
I have been dealing with the death of my loved ones from I was in my teens with the murder of 2 uncles in their homes from both parents, 2 years apart. The gruesome death of my grandma’s only son totally destroyed her and she never recovered. She died 2 years later, a month after the death of my dad in 1980. This meant my family had to deal with death 2 folds over a period of time. Then in 1994 I lost my brother at the tender age of 37 years old and strangely enough he was present when our uncle was brutally murdered and escaped with a few bruises. I lost another brother to Cancer in 2008 after a short illness, he was only 56 years old. That was the time when King’s College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust colluded with UNISON and London Borough of Southwark SEND Section to discriminate against me.
When I challenged the social injustices and inequalities, they got Capsticks, Wimbledon to act unprofessionally. A miscarriage of justice was the outcome of the Employment Tribunals London South case I brought against the former employers. I told Dr Maria Hudson of the Policy Studies Institute in 2010, when she interviewed me that I would clear my name and exonerate myself. Because I was to face blacklisting and networking which further exacerbate my Hidden Disability and trigger the Mental Health Conditions that I write about, which MQ: Transforming mental health is using as part of their campaign. After getting counseeling at the Maudsley Hospital, on the advise of the Occupational Health Doctor that #LEYF send me to after the Medical Suspension.
I was told to seek Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT to find out why I react to certain issues the way I do. I realised that my MOTHER, must have suffered from Mental Health Conditions because of her own experiences. The other family I had lost were not that significant, because I knew absolutely nothing about the intricacies of death, at the time. Listening to current debates about euthanasia, the treatment of the vulnerable and the Bill being debated in Parliament… I can’t help but reflect on some of my own experiences throughout the times when my dad and grandma were sick. Dad was sick for over a decade before he died and in the end needed care around the clock.
To compound matters, gran took sick and mum had to care for both, with help from her children. I recalled once hearing my brother saying that if it was left to him alone, he would give dad something for him to sleep. Although I was not home during my brother’s brief illness before his death, I have cause to believe he might have hastened his life. All he did to hasten his life was to eat the things that the doctor told him that were not good for his health. I came to this conclusion after going back home and being given certain information and knowing what his thoughts were about suffering.
I know I could not take that pathway if any of my loved ones or myself ever end up like my dad, because of my knowledge, values and beliefs. But this will not take away from the fact that I can understand why some would decide to go that route. I have seen so much suffering in my life time, that I wished there was some way for people to avoid the indignity of depending on anyone else for their every needs. Before I reached maturity and gain knowledge I remonstrated with a God who would allow my dad to suffer so much.
Suffice it to say that I am wiser about such matters and even though I have mellowed, I wish people did not have to suffer like my dad, and become like my mum in her last lap of her journey. Although I knew mum would die of old age it was still hard to accept losing a loved one, in particular my mother. She was the centre of our life because of the sacrifices she had made for her family when her husband took sick and died years later. I am proud to say that because I had dedicated my life to educating myself as an older student because I never had the opportunity when younger. I was instrumental in diagnosing mum’s condition, passing information to my family to help them provide mum with care that she would not otherwise have gotten.
When I was still in Jamaica nothing was known about some of the Health Conditions which affected the disabled and elderly. Therefore when these disabled and sick elderly people behaved a certain way, they were stereotyped and classed as mad, miserable or labelled with a variety of undignified names. In this age of enlightenment I am glad to say that studying empowered me to address some of the imbalances which made my mum’s later days on this earth a more bearable time for her and her family. I am no prophet and will not claim to be brighter than anyone else, but I am proud of the way I have empowered myself to enable me to cope with the challenges of life.
By these tokens I am better equipped to handle my personal and professional life. However since my return from burying my Mother LEYF Nurseries has been responsible for denying me my rights to freedom under the United Nations Human Rights laws and legislations. Like the first time when Dr Maria Hudson of University of Essex carried out the Research Paper: The Experience of Discrimination on Multiple Grounds for Acas, I have the establshment and systems on my back with discrimination. Voice: the union for education professionals, Advising London, Employment Solicitors, Darvell School part of Community Playthings UK, the editor of the Nursery World Magazine have carried out conscious discrimination.
Whilst others choose the subconsious discrimination to try cover their tracks. But believe me they will be named and shamed.That’s why I refuse to allow the naysayers and trolls on Facebook to get under my skin. I have my Fight4justice campaign ensuring that I am an advocate for others. I can’t get employment out there, so I am investing in myself, starting my own business. I refuse to let the psychopaths get the better of me. I have fought hard to help my family get out of the circumstances of our birth, which is poverty. I want the outcome to be different and I invested in my Sons Kevin Murray and Valdin Legister. That’s why I refuse to allow the Jamaica Football Federation ( J.F.F ) to get away with discrimination of my son for the second time. They done it to my breda Texchus Nembhard and my nephew Veralton Nembhard too. So let the WAR begin.
There are 2 things that are certain in the trilogy of human kind – birth and death, and after death the resurrection. I am praying even though I am not much of a Christian like my Father and Mother before me. But I wish I don’t have to suffer the indignity of having to rely on others to care for me like my parents before me. I guess this is why I take my health so seriously and important and have been making life style changes to keep healthy as long as is reasonably possible. These changes were put in place since I was diagnosed with Depression, Addiction, Anxiety and Chronic Fatigue Information, a variety of illnesses, some of which are Heredity. I intend to keep in tip top shape for as long as I can. However there are certain matters over which we mere humans do not have the final say. I am more than happy to leave such matters in the hands of the Almighty Father who knows everything best.
Mum has gone on to rest from her hard labours and toil and I am sure all my family are in agreement that mum is better off resting instead of staying on this earth suffering, and having no memories of her family. I am more than confident mum has been reunited with all her loved ones who have gone on before? She has done a wonderful job throughout her time and I am more than grateful for the mother God gave me for the 55 years she spent here with me.
Mervelee Tomlinson
Carer at Carer at Home
• 69 articles
3y
Simon L
Billing Resolutions Manager at E.ON
What I’ve learned is that, in the “Trilogy of Life”, one thing is uncertain and one thing is sure: life and death, respectively. May your lost loved ones rest in peace, Mervelee.
ON THIS DAY
4 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
JtSScsupohalnlyncsr i1ul9,olr e2u01d7f · London ·
Shared with Public
I reap GREENS, Ital Dreadlocks welcome fi Dinner? Equal Rights…
Refer to https://youtu.be/yY2MgU9GWdc why on Amly D Nembhard 96th #birthday Mervelee Ratty Nembhard MUST CUT OFF SOME of EMINEMBHARDfamily and Ervin Nembhard aka #ervinnembhard aka #Pharoah can take over We hope you enjoy looking back and sharing your memories on Facebook, from the most recent to those long ago.
On this day
6 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2016 ·
Shared with Public
Summer is here & only the Best of MM go on Display like a True PRO… Celebrating the Best DNA from Chambers/Saunders – Mills/NEMBHARD Combos. Who cares if Ratty Batty look better than her Face? There might be some Truths depending pon wat U looking pon?
On this day
6 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2016 ·
Shared with Public
Sun Worshipper, but I won’t Disgrace myself. I don’t let People telling me I look 40’s go to my Head. I act my AGE sometimes?
On this day
7 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2015 ·
Shared with Public
Amly 28 7 2014
Amly 28 7 2014
My breda singing his heart out at Mama’s Funeral Service.
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2015 · YouTube ·
Shared with Public
Oh my word… This is hard work. Hope I get it now?
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
When me find di Thyme, I will post sum vids of when me & Dem (Honeygan Band)dun Mash up di Wake Yard…! Enuh did tink me Joke eh out & mek fun fi Dance lika me Modda Maam Jess when she guh eina TBC?
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
Just published my 1st piece after being afforded the privilege by LinkedIn! So when U miss me pon di Book Face I will be productively engaged sharpening my Writing Skills fi mek sum MONEY for the Good a mi FAMILY. My sons Kevin Murray & Valdin Legister….. Putting Plans in Place 4 the Future!
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
Can u believe I didn’t put on either of my 2 mobile phones in a week? What I call priorities. I will do the work I am paid for & even go beyond the call of duty.
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 · London ·
Shared with Public
Will have 2 give up whilst am ahead? So GN FB until I c U soon>>>
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 ·
Shared with Public
1 busy week-end ahead 4 Real>>> Lambeth Country Show at Brockwell Park>>> Oh no help 4 me as TOM totally forgot 2day is Friday? No likkle shopping done, so I will have 2 do the whole hog!!!
Refer to https://youtu.be/yY2MgU9GWdc why on Amly D Nembhard 96th #birthday Mervelee Ratty Nembhard MUST CUT OFF SOME of EMINEMBHARDfamily and Ervin Nembhard aka #ervinnembhard aka #Pharoah can take over We hope you enjoy looking back and sharing your memories on Facebook, from the most recent to those long ago.
On this day
6 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2016 ·
Shared with Public
Summer is here & only the Best of MM go on Display like a True PRO… Celebrating the Best DNA from Chambers/Saunders – Mills/NEMBHARD Combos. Who cares if Ratty Batty look better than her Face? There might be some Truths depending pon wat U looking pon?
On this day
6 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2016 ·
Shared with Public
Sun Worshipper, but I won’t Disgrace myself. I don’t let People telling me I look 40’s go to my Head. I act my AGE sometimes?
On this day
7 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2015 ·
Shared with Public
Amly 28 7 2014
Amly 28 7 2014
My breda singing his heart out at Mama’s Funeral Service.
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2015 · YouTube ·
Shared with Public
Oh my word… This is hard work. Hope I get it now?
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
When me find di Thyme, I will post sum vids of when me & Dem (Honeygan Band)dun Mash up di Wake Yard…! Enuh did tink me Joke eh out & mek fun fi Dance lika me Modda Maam Jess when she guh eina TBC?
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
Just published my 1st piece after being afforded the privilege by LinkedIn! So when U miss me pon di Book Face I will be productively engaged sharpening my Writing Skills fi mek sum MONEY for the Good a mi FAMILY. My sons Kevin Murray & Valdin Legister….. Putting Plans in Place 4 the Future!
On this day
8 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2014 ·
Shared with Public
Can u believe I didn’t put on either of my 2 mobile phones in a week? What I call priorities. I will do the work I am paid for & even go beyond the call of duty.
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 · London ·
Shared with Public
Will have 2 give up whilst am ahead? So GN FB until I c U soon>>>
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 ·
Shared with Public
1 busy week-end ahead 4 Real>>> Lambeth Country Show at Brockwell Park>>> Oh no help 4 me as TOM totally forgot 2day is Friday? No likkle shopping done, so I will have 2 do the whole hog!!!
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On the #date my #brother Amly D Nembhard was born at Townhead & Adjacent Districts Of Westmoreland of MyJAMAICA Mervelee Ratty Nembhard was on #4yearsold let the EMINEMBHARDfamily know am going out with my Fight4justice campaign so https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taA14IVIm9g will be one of Wikipedia most #viewed and those using my #intellectualproperty and #images and #copyright know they are SCAMMERS and HATERS and PAEDOPHILES and TROLLS We hope you enjoy looking back and sharing your memories on Facebook, from the most recent to those long ago.
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 ·
Shared with Public
Suh wat happen 2 Ur NB Son?
Valdin Legister is with Mervelee Ratty Nembhard.
July 18, 2013 ·
It was fun working with you guys……..
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 · London ·
Shared with Public
On the bus dis morn couldn’t stand me heel with the stench cuming from 1 like me – elderly Black Lady? LaM becauz me know sey me lose 1 a my SENSES years ago am particularly careful in ensuring that I use the good ole water & soap + all di other stuff to help with the BO. I doan waan nubady cum skin up dem nose when me round dem a Gih tall? & me frens me a beg unuh fi tell me if unuh smell any wiffs cuming from my way as I believe it betta me hear from me frens & I won’t feel nuh ways? We inherit the BO from we fambly & sweat from head 2 toes – & if unuh doan believe me just ask me likkle breda EJEN… Peeps me a beg unuh fi just tek care ina di sweltering HEAT & don’t let unuh arms smell lika warm yarm…? & as fi di bun up kettle dem dat a cuss black tea bun pot black, please pick di Beam outa unuh Nose b4 unuh smell di peeps dem tinking armpit?
On this day
9 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2013 · London ·
Shared with Public
Just heard that BH wont be at Brixton Academy on Sunday? Well am not 2 disappointed because I’ve seen him many times>>> Going 2 ketch Morgan Heritage!!! So hear there is refund available?
On this day
10 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2012 ·
Shared with Public
Nebba stop trying 2 EmLOUate dah Great Lady!!!
I am a Jamaican is with Jellissa Successful Taffe and
42 others
.
July 19, 2012 ·
JAMAICA!!! Wi Likkle But Wi Tallawah!!! Help mi big up Miss Lou – Wish you were here!
On this day
10 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2012 ·
Shared with Public
Despite Moi MisGIVings… 2day wasn’t such a bad 1 arta all…? At least I was aknowledged, valued & appreciated 4 Moi Contributions!!! Lets see how 2morow pans out…?
On this day
10 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
July 19, 2012 ·
Shared with Public
Just Tun up fe cum wish Moi Likkle Breda AMLY D.A. NEMBHARD Happy 49th Birthday!!! WE ago try see if WE can have a BIG Family Do 4 the year of Ur 50th…? Big Sista Ratty!!!
On this day
11 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard updated her profile picture.
July 19, 2011 ·
Shared with Public
May be an image of 2 people
On this day
11 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard added 9 new photos to the album: THE BUSINESS WOMAN — with Nursery World Magazine and
7 others
.
July 19, 2011 ·
Me at work doing what I do BEST… Selling the Potatoes to raise FUNDS 4 outing!!!
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Check back tomorrow to see more of your memories!
MERVELEE MYERS Fight4justice Campaign Institutional Discrimination Of Protected Characteristics!
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard is remembering those who are no longer with us with Valdin Legister and
7 others
.
JtSScsupohalnlyncsr i1ul9,olr e2u01d7f ·
Shared with Public
Dealing with Death of Loved Ones
Mervelee Tomlinson
Carer at Carer at Home
In the space of 7 months I have made 2 trips to my beloved country Jamaica for 2 momentous and poignant occasions in my life. I travelled to Jamaica on the 22.12.13, Valdin Legister, my son’s birthday to attend his wedding on New Years Day 01.01.14. I was privileged to spend 4 weeks establishing links with my elderly mum whose health was in steady decline. Mum who had Dementia did not recognised her only daughter, Mervelee Ratty Nembhard but I was blessed in a variety of ways. Because my son was living at home with mum, he had become one of the familiar persons who represented consistency and continuity in her life. In a sense he had taken my place in mum’s heart whilst I was away from the roost.
During my 4 weeks at home I was empowered to get some more insights into the aging processes that are parts of the transitions from birth to death. If I am lucky I might encounter some of the changes I have witnessed throughout my life as a parent, informal and formal carer. If I live to be anywhere near to my mum’s age of 90 years old, I will be blessed with wisdom beyond my age. Now I can honestly say I totally understand the age old adage that my older folks used “once a man twice a child…” Mum went back to being a child who needed attention 24/7 near the end of her life here on earth. I also got a clearer picture of the person I will morph into as I get older, because I am now proud to be compared to my mother, @www.MerveleeConsultancy.uk.
I am saying this because at one stage, I’d be mortified if anyone had the gall to compare me to mum and my grandma. But as the years went by and I decided to delve into my family history, I was dumbfounded to make some discoveries. Whilst in Jamaica I took the opportunity to put some of my studies at Lambeth College and the The Open University that I had done about the young and elderly to good use. I pondered to mum’s every needs, applying techniques to revise her memories despite her dementia. I sang with her, talked about her loved ones who had gone on before and did all in my power to preserve her dignity. It was truly amazing to witness mum being so humble and grateful whenever anyone did her a good turn.
This reminded me so much of some of the vulnerable children with whom I worked over the years. The vulnerable children and adults are relying on the practitioners and other health care professionals to provide for their diverse and complex needs, Disabilities. I felt a sense of purpose when I can implement early intervention strategies from studies and trainings to meet the needs of any vulnerable human being. I must confess that I had a few eye opening experiences being with mum, before heading back to the United Kingdom where duty call. That meant I could not stay with mum to celebrate her 90th birthday, but I left with the convictions that I would not be seeing her alive again.
Back in the UK I was kept up to date with her progress as per usual. Then after doing Cancer Research UK Race for Life in honour of my brother who died of Colon Cancer in 2008, on the 30th May in Clapham. I had this strange feelings before going to bed and I just could not stop crying. I can say as part of my beliefs that my loved ones who had gone on before had reached out to prepare me about mum’s passing in advance. In the middle of the night I was woken up by the telephone call I was dreading and was in tuned to the time when mum drew her last breathe. After getting the news I spent the following weeks making preparations for going home to bury mum. This was one of the hardest couple of weeks I had encountered, but I took things in my stride and carried on at Luton Street LEYF Nurseries.
I drafted the Eulogy and remembrance since I am the one responsible for documenting the family history during those couple of weeks. I continued working as hard as ever, burning the candle at both ends to meet my targeted outcomes. I went back to Jamaica to bury mum, but decided with my siblings that this was a time for the family to celebrate a life well spent. I got home and took part in the preparations, said I was not going to cry, but on the day of the funeral it was a different story completely. I left home in good spirit, walked up to the casket, looked at mum lying there so quiet and life less, touched her face and hands. I guess that’s when the reality that mum was gone hit home and I could not stop the tears from flowing. So I cried and paced up and down until there were no more tears.
I have been dealing with the death of my loved ones from I was in my teens with the murder of 2 uncles in their homes from both parents, 2 years apart. The gruesome death of my grandma’s only son totally destroyed her and she never recovered. She died 2 years later, a month after the death of my dad in 1980. This meant my family had to deal with death 2 folds over a period of time. Then in 1994 I lost my brother at the tender age of 37 years old and strangely enough he was present when our uncle was brutally murdered and escaped with a few bruises. I lost another brother to Cancer in 2008 after a short illness, he was only 56 years old. That was the time when King’s College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust colluded with UNISON and London Borough of Southwark SEND Section to discriminate against me.
When I challenged the social injustices and inequalities, they got Capsticks, Wimbledon to act unprofessionally. A miscarriage of justice was the outcome of the Employment Tribunals London South case I brought against the former employers. I told Dr Maria Hudson of the Policy Studies Institute in 2010, when she interviewed me that I would clear my name and exonerate myself. Because I was to face blacklisting and networking which further exacerbate my Hidden Disability and trigger the Mental Health Conditions that I write about, which MQ: Transforming mental health is using as part of their campaign. After getting counseeling at the Maudsley Hospital, on the advise of the Occupational Health Doctor that #LEYF send me to after the Medical Suspension.
I was told to seek Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT to find out why I react to certain issues the way I do. I realised that my MOTHER, must have suffered from Mental Health Conditions because of her own experiences. The other family I had lost were not that significant, because I knew absolutely nothing about the intricacies of death, at the time. Listening to current debates about euthanasia, the treatment of the vulnerable and the Bill being debated in Parliament… I can’t help but reflect on some of my own experiences throughout the times when my dad and grandma were sick. Dad was sick for over a decade before he died and in the end needed care around the clock.
To compound matters, gran took sick and mum had to care for both, with help from her children. I recalled once hearing my brother saying that if it was left to him alone, he would give dad something for him to sleep. Although I was not home during my brother’s brief illness before his death, I have cause to believe he might have hastened his life. All he did to hasten his life was to eat the things that the doctor told him that were not good for his health. I came to this conclusion after going back home and being given certain information and knowing what his thoughts were about suffering.
I know I could not take that pathway if any of my loved ones or myself ever end up like my dad, because of my knowledge, values and beliefs. But this will not take away from the fact that I can understand why some would decide to go that route. I have seen so much suffering in my life time, that I wished there was some way for people to avoid the indignity of depending on anyone else for their every needs. Before I reached maturity and gain knowledge I remonstrated with a God who would allow my dad to suffer so much.
Suffice it to say that I am wiser about such matters and even though I have mellowed, I wish people did not have to suffer like my dad, and become like my mum in her last lap of her journey. Although I knew mum would die of old age it was still hard to accept losing a loved one, in particular my mother. She was the centre of our life because of the sacrifices she had made for her family when her husband took sick and died years later. I am proud to say that because I had dedicated my life to educating myself as an older student because I never had the opportunity when younger. I was instrumental in diagnosing mum’s condition, passing information to my family to help them provide mum with care that she would not otherwise have gotten.
When I was still in Jamaica nothing was known about some of the Health Conditions which affected the disabled and elderly. Therefore when these disabled and sick elderly people behaved a certain way, they were stereotyped and classed as mad, miserable or labelled with a variety of undignified names. In this age of enlightenment I am glad to say that studying empowered me to address some of the imbalances which made my mum’s later days on this earth a more bearable time for her and her family. I am no prophet and will not claim to be brighter than anyone else, but I am proud of the way I have empowered myself to enable me to cope with the challenges of life.
By these tokens I am better equipped to handle my personal and professional life. However since my return from burying my Mother LEYF Nurseries has been responsible for denying me my rights to freedom under the United Nations Human Rights laws and legislations. Like the first time when Dr Maria Hudson of University of Essex carried out the Research Paper: The Experience of Discrimination on Multiple Grounds for Acas, I have the establshment and systems on my back with discrimination. Voice: the union for education professionals, Advising London, Employment Solicitors, Darvell School part of Community Playthings UK, the editor of the Nursery World Magazine have carried out conscious discrimination.
Whilst others choose the subconsious discrimination to try cover their tracks. But believe me they will be named and shamed.That’s why I refuse to allow the naysayers and trolls on Facebook to get under my skin. I have my Fight4justice campaign ensuring that I am an advocate for others. I can’t get employment out there, so I am investing in myself, starting my own business. I refuse to let the psychopaths get the better of me. I have fought hard to help my family get out of the circumstances of our birth, which is poverty. I want the outcome to be different and I invested in my Sons Kevin Murray and Valdin Legister. That’s why I refuse to allow the Jamaica Football Federation ( J.F.F ) to get away with discrimination of my son for the second time. They done it to my breda Texchus Nembhard and my nephew Veralton Nembhard too. So let the WAR begin.
There are 2 things that are certain in the trilogy of human kind – birth and death, and after death the resurrection. I am praying even though I am not much of a Christian like my Father and Mother before me. But I wish I don’t have to suffer the indignity of having to rely on others to care for me like my parents before me. I guess this is why I take my health so seriously and important and have been making life style changes to keep healthy as long as is reasonably possible. These changes were put in place since I was diagnosed with Depression, Addiction, Anxiety and Chronic Fatigue Information, a variety of illnesses, some of which are Heredity. I intend to keep in tip top shape for as long as I can. However there are certain matters over which we mere humans do not have the final say. I am more than happy to leave such matters in the hands of the Almighty Father who knows everything best.
Mum has gone on to rest from her hard labours and toil and I am sure all my family are in agreement that mum is better off resting instead of staying on this earth suffering, and having no memories of her family. I am more than confident mum has been reunited with all her loved ones who have gone on before? She has done a wonderful job throughout her time and I am more than grateful for the mother God gave me for the 55 years she spent here with me.
Mervelee Tomlinson
Carer at Carer at Home
• 69 articles
3y
Simon L
Billing Resolutions Manager at E.ON
What I’ve learned is that, in the “Trilogy of Life”, one thing is uncertain and one thing is sure: life and death, respectively. May your lost loved ones rest in peace, Mervelee.
ON THIS DAY
4 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
JtSScsupohalnlyncsr i1ul9,olr e2u01d7f · London ·
Shared with Public
I reap GREENS, Ital Dreadlocks welcome fi Dinner? Equal Rights…
Create an account or log into Facebook. Connect with friends, family and other people you know. Share photos and videos, send messages and get updates.
Oh how #much did www.leyf.org.uk made from her #visit? We hope you enjoy looking back and sharing your memories on Facebook, from the most recent to those long ago.
Your Friendversary With Hayden Salmon
5 years ago today, you and Hayden became friends on Facebook. We made you this video to celebrate your friendship!
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ON THIS DAY
4 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
JtulSyga mS1poescn8icso,hriec 2gdh0t17 · London ·
Shared with Public
I know the triggers for my Health Conditions. Plz don’t Poor-Voke Me!
Oh how #much did www.leyf.org.uk made from her #visit? We hope you enjoy looking back and sharing your memories on Facebook, from the most recent to those long ago.
Your Friendversary With Hayden Salmon
5 years ago today, you and Hayden became friends on Facebook. We made you this video to celebrate your friendship!
0:05 / 0:23
Only you can see this unless you share it
ON THIS DAY
4 years ago
Mervelee Ratty Nembhard
JtulSyga mS1poescn8icso,hriec 2gdh0t17 · London ·
Shared with Public
I know the triggers for my Health Conditions. Plz don’t Poor-Voke Me!
ON THIS DAY
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The Daily Express RUSSELL GRANT #Taurus: When people ask questions, your instinct is to give an honest answer. This may not be what they want to hear but if you tell them anything else, it won’t be the truth. You hope your family and friends will show the same considerations towards you.
The Daily Express RUSSELL GRANT #Taurus: When people ask questions, your instinct is to give an honest answer. This may not be what they want to hear but if you tell them anything else, it won’t be the truth. You hope your family and friends will show the same considerations towards you.
The things they say… “Those who say it can’t be done are usually #interrupted by others doing it” James Baldwin (1924 – 1987) My Mother DOB 26/1/1924 – 1/6/2014. I have not #grieved for my mum yet. Today is my #brotherAmly DOB.
Taurus: Change always makes you #anxious and given a choice you’ll stick to the tried and trusted routines you’re comfortable with . But #change is in the air, which could mean a new job or home or learning new skills.
Only #cuzTurb used to have so much cousin. But of course her #dad was from Dixon Yard. That makes her likely to be my #family on Mama Lou but not Ripey!
So now I will have to #tackle the #family#tree. My mum #rich cuz Raymond Hall used to come to his cuzs out the road. I nearly drop down 1 day a mi yard when mi find out…
I was recently told I should stay in my lane and it’s not my time. Thank God for the teachings of Mama Lou, I learnt to make hay while the sun shines. Once we are blessed with life, it’s always our time. Whether you want to stay in or come out of your lane…..#RegisterwithLegister and let’s make it our time!!!
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352Hilary Nembhard, Andrea Nembhard and 350 others
In the space of 7 months I have made 2 trips to my beloved country Jamaica for 2 momentous and poignant occasions in my life. I travelled to Jamaica on the 22.12.13, Valdin Legister, my son’s birthday to attend his wedding on New Years Day 01.01.14. I was privileged to spend 4 weeks establishing links with my elderly mum whose health was in steady decline. Mum who had Dementia did not recognised her only daughter, Mervelee Ratty Nembhard but I was blessed in a variety of ways. Because my son was living at home with mum, he had become one of the familiar persons who represented consistency and continuity in her life. In a sense he had taken my place in mum’s heart whilst I was away from the roost.
During my 4 weeks at home I was empowered to get some more insights into the aging processes that are parts of the transitions from birth to death. If I am lucky I might encounter some of the changes I have witnessed throughout my life as a parent, informal and formal carer. If I live to be anywhere near to my mum’s age of 90 years old, I will be blessed with wisdom beyond my age. Now I can honestly say I totally understand the age old adage that my older folks used “once a man twice a child…” Mum went back to being a child who needed attention 24/7 near the end of her life here on earth. I also got a clearer picture of the person I will morph into as I get older, because I am now proud to be compared to my mother, @www.MerveleeConsultancy.uk.
I am saying this because at one stage, I’d be mortified if anyone had the gall to compare me to mum and my grandma. But as the years went by and I decided to delve into my family history, I was dumbfounded to make some discoveries. Whilst in Jamaica I took the opportunity to put some of my studies at Lambeth College and the The Open University that I had done about the young and elderly to good use. I pondered to mum’s every needs, applying techniques to revise her memories despite her dementia. I sang with her, talked about her loved ones who had gone on before and did all in my power to preserve her dignity. It was truly amazing to witness mum being so humble and grateful whenever anyone did her a good turn.
This reminded me so much of some of the vulnerable children with whom I worked over the years. The vulnerable children and adults are relying on the practitioners and other health care professionals to provide for their diverse and complex needs, Disabilities. I felt a sense of purpose when I can implement early intervention strategies from studies and trainings to meet the needs of any vulnerable human being. I must confess that I had a few eye opening experiences being with mum, before heading back to the United Kingdom where duty call. That meant I could not stay with mum to celebrate her 90th birthday, but I left with the convictions that I would not be seeing her alive again.
Back in the UK I was kept up to date with her progress as per usual. Then after doing Cancer Research UK Race for Life in honour of my brother who died of Colon Cancer in 2008, on the 30th May in Clapham. I had this strange feelings before going to bed and I just could not stop crying. I can say as part of my beliefs that my loved ones who had gone on before had reached out to prepare me about mum’s passing in advance. In the middle of the night I was woken up by the telephone call I was dreading and was in tuned to the time when mum drew her last breathe. After getting the news I spent the following weeks making preparations for going home to bury mum. This was one of the hardest couple of weeks I had encountered, but I took things in my stride and carried on at Luton Street LEYF Nurseries.
I drafted the Eulogy and remembrance since I am the one responsible for documenting the family history during those couple of weeks. I continued working as hard as ever, burning the candle at both ends to meet my targeted outcomes. I went back to Jamaica to bury mum, but decided with my siblings that this was a time for the family to celebrate a life well spent. I got home and took part in the preparations, said I was not going to cry, but on the day of the funeral it was a different story completely. I left home in good spirit, walked up to the casket, looked at mum lying there so quiet and life less, touched her face and hands. I guess that’s when the reality that mum was gone hit home and I could not stop the tears from flowing. So I cried and paced up and down until there were no more tears.
I have been dealing with the death of my loved ones from I was in my teens with the murder of 2 uncles in their homes from both parents, 2 years apart. The gruesome death of my grandma’s only son totally destroyed her and she never recovered. She died 2 years later, a month after the death of my dad in 1980. This meant my family had to deal with death 2 folds over a period of time. Then in 1994 I lost my brother at the tender age of 37 years old and strangely enough he was present when our uncle was brutally murdered and escaped with a few bruises. I lost another brother to Cancer in 2008 after a short illness, he was only 56 years old. That was the time when King’s College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust colluded with UNISON and London Borough of Southwark SEND Section to discriminate against me.
When I challenged the social injustices and inequalities, they got Capsticks, Wimbledon to act unprofessionally. A miscarriage of justice was the outcome of the Employment Tribunals London South case I brought against the former employers. I told Dr Maria Hudson of the Policy Studies Institute in 2010, when she interviewed me that I would clear my name and exonerate myself. Because I was to face blacklisting and networking which further exacerbate my Hidden Disability and trigger the Mental Health Conditions that I write about, which MQ: Transforming mental health is using as part of their campaign. After getting counseeling at the Maudsley Hospital, on the advise of the Occupational Health Doctor that #LEYF send me to after the Medical Suspension.
I was told to seek Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – CBT to find out why I react to certain issues the way I do. I realised that my MOTHER, must have suffered from Mental Health Conditions because of her own experiences. The other family I had lost were not that significant, because I knew absolutely nothing about the intricacies of death, at the time. Listening to current debates about euthanasia, the treatment of the vulnerable and the Bill being debated in Parliament… I can’t help but reflect on some of my own experiences throughout the times when my dad and grandma were sick. Dad was sick for over a decade before he died and in the end needed care around the clock.
To compound matters, gran took sick and mum had to care for both, with help from her children. I recalled once hearing my brother saying that if it was left to him alone, he would give dad something for him to sleep. Although I was not home during my brother’s brief illness before his death, I have cause to believe he might have hastened his life. All he did to hasten his life was to eat the things that the doctor told him that were not good for his health. I came to this conclusion after going back home and being given certain information and knowing what his thoughts were about suffering.
I know I could not take that pathway if any of my loved ones or myself ever end up like my dad, because of my knowledge, values and beliefs. But this will not take away from the fact that I can understand why some would decide to go that route. I have seen so much suffering in my life time, that I wished there was some way for people to avoid the indignity of depending on anyone else for their every needs. Before I reached maturity and gain knowledge I remonstrated with a God who would allow my dad to suffer so much.
Suffice it to say that I am wiser about such matters and even though I have mellowed, I wish people did not have to suffer like my dad, and become like my mum in her last lap of her journey. Although I knew mum would die of old age it was still hard to accept losing a loved one, in particular my mother. She was the centre of our life because of the sacrifices she had made for her family when her husband took sick and died years later. I am proud to say that because I had dedicated my life to educating myself as an older student because I never had the opportunity when younger. I was instrumental in diagnosing mum’s condition, passing information to my family to help them provide mum with care that she would not otherwise have gotten.
When I was still in Jamaica nothing was known about some of the Health Conditions which affected the disabled and elderly. Therefore when these disabled and sick elderly people behaved a certain way, they were stereotyped and classed as mad, miserable or labelled with a variety of undignified names. In this age of enlightenment I am glad to say that studying empowered me to address some of the imbalances which made my mum’s later days on this earth a more bearable time for her and her family. I am no prophet and will not claim to be brighter than anyone else, but I am proud of the way I have empowered myself to enable me to cope with the challenges of life.
By these tokens I am better equipped to handle my personal and professional life. However since my return from burying my Mother LEYF Nurseries has been responsible for denying me my rights to freedom under the United Nations Human Rights laws and legislations. Like the first time when Dr Maria Hudson of University of Essex carried out the Research Paper: The Experience of Discrimination on Multiple Grounds for Acas, I have the establshment and systems on my back with discrimination. Voice: the union for education professionals, Advising London, Employment Solicitors, Darvell School part of Community Playthings UK, the editor of the Nursery World Magazine have carried out conscious discrimination.
Whilst others choose the subconsious discrimination to try cover their tracks. But believe me they will be named and shamed.That’s why I refuse to allow the naysayers and trolls on Facebook to get under my skin. I have my Fight4justice campaign ensuring that I am an advocate for others. I can’t get employment out there, so I am investing in myself, starting my own business. I refuse to let the psychopaths get the better of me. I have fought hard to help my family get out of the circumstances of our birth, which is poverty. I want the outcome to be different and I invested in my Sons Kevin Murray and Valdin Legister. That’s why I refuse to allow the Jamaica Football Federation ( J.F.F ) to get away with discrimination of my son for the second time. They done it to my breda Texchus Nembhard and my nephew Veralton Nembhard too. So let the WAR begin.
There are 2 things that are certain in the trilogy of human kind – birth and death, and after death the resurrection. I am praying even though I am not much of a Christian like my Father and Mother before me. But I wish I don’t have to suffer the indignity of having to rely on others to care for me like my parents before me. I guess this is why I take my health so seriously and important and have been making life style changes to keep healthy as long as is reasonably possible. These changes were put in place since I was diagnosed with Depression, Addiction, Anxiety and Chronic Fatigue Information, a variety of illnesses, some of which are Heredity. I intend to keep in tip top shape for as long as I can. However there are certain matters over which we mere humans do not have the final say. I am more than happy to leave such matters in the hands of the Almighty Father who knows everything best.
Mum has gone on to rest from her hard labours and toil and I am sure all my family are in agreement that mum is better off resting instead of staying on this earth suffering, and having no memories of her family. I am more than confident mum has been reunited with all her loved ones who have gone on before? She has done a wonderful job throughout her time and I am more than grateful for the mother God gave me for the 55 years she spent here with me.
Mervelee Tomlinson
Carer at Carer at Home
• 69 articles
3y
Simon L
Billing Resolutions Manager at E.ON
What I’ve learned is that, in the “Trilogy of Life”, one thing is uncertain and one thing is sure: life and death, respectively. May your lost loved ones rest in peace, Mervelee.
We have much in common now that LEYF Nurseries illtreatment of me cause me to get counselling at the Maudsley Hospital.
I will have to introduce my son to the world and write the story about how he was discriminated against and then they paid for him to get counselling.
As for those that named him or question whether he is a COWARD, I will set the record straight now that Captain Horace Burrell is DEAD. Ba-Hate-Ma-Son-Grass, or Bend-Dung-Snake-Under-Grass RETEP, I will have to get to the bottom of this.
I am tired from taking on Advocacy work, hence my Fight4justice campaign.
Just realising how much my caring duty is taking out of me and it won’t be getting any better, as my #Husband is relying on me more every day.
Discrimination in any form is against the law according to the Equality Act 2010.
FIFA has had its day with sorting out corruptions at the highest levels of the organisation. I guess the spotlight should bve turned to the Jamaica Football Federation ( J.F.F ). I have that clip form the newspaper where my son named his role models. So now is one of those role models turning around to deny my son of having his day…?
Usain Bolt · I would be honored to have YOU as my VIP for my FINAL race on the global stage. We’ll meet, take photos, and my friends at Hublot will hook you up with some cool gifts! Be quick! Enter now.All reactions:1Mervelee Ratty Nembhard1ShareOn this day6 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard · London · Shared with PublicI reap GREENS, Ital Dreadlocks welcome fi Dinner? Equal Rights…All reactions:1Sylvia Alexander410ShareOn this day6 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard is feeling blessed in London. · Shared with PublicThe PC Brigrade at it again. That’s why I let my voice be heard again to some jobsworth at the Department for Work and Pensions – DWP. It’s nearly 2 years since I was forced to resign my job. I have documented every correspondences in my Universal Credit Journal. Yet the damn idiots can’t get their acts together. The reasons I ended up representing myself the 2nd time at the Employment Tribunals London South against LEYF Nurseries. They are getting rid of the Knowledgeable Employees with experiences, and replacing them with those who are unable to communicate. For the ignorants #IntellectualImbeciles, communication is more than sitting in an air conditioned office and taking liberties. But also abusing their Power of Authority.If in doubt, about the Daily Express Columnist “Tech Don’t Lie”, go check Dr Maria Hudson of the Policy Studies Institute. There is a Research Paper: The Experience of Discrimination on Multiple Grounds for Acas http://www.acas.org/researchpaper. I am all over the internet at Google AdWords. My shared stories about my experiences are been used to help promote MQ: Transforming mental health. I feel privileged.Daily Express · What is happening to this country!?EXPRESS.CO.UKPensioner, 77, ordered by council to get rid of garden gnomes because they moon passers-byCOUNCIL busybodies have ordered an elderly gardener to remove his two garden gnomes under health and safety rules because they moon at passersby.All reactions:1Mervelee Ratty Nembhard1On this day6 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard is celebrating success in London. · Shared with PublicThe same thing MUST apply to LEYF Nurseries! I am still waiting….?Daily Express · The Prime Minister has demanded they be punished…EXPRESS.CO.UKCorbyn’s voting cheats should PAY! Theresa May demands justice for student ‘double-voting’THE PRIME MINISTER has demanded that voting cheats are reported to the police and prosecuted amid growing evidence that student fraud could have significantly boosted Labour’s support in the election and stopped the Tories winning a majority.On this day7 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard · Shared with PublicSummer is here & only the Best of MM go on Display like a True PRO… Celebrating the Best DNA from Chambers/Saunders – Mills/NEMBHARD Combos. Who cares if Ratty Batty look better than her Face? There might be some Truths depending pon wat U looking pon?All reactions:7You, Valdin Legister, Winsome Newman and 4 others18ShareOn this day7 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard
When me find di Thyme, I will post sum vids of when me & Dem (Honeygan Band)dun Mash up di Wake Yard…! Enuh did tink me Joke eh out & mek fun fi Dance lika me Modda Maam Jess when she guh eina TBC?
Just published my 1st piece after being afforded the privilege by LinkedIn! So when U miss me pon di Book Face I will be productively engaged sharpening my Writing Skills fi mek sum MONEY for the Good a mi FAMILY. My sons Kevin Murray & Valdin Legister….. Putting Plans in Place 4 the Future!
Can u believe I didn’t put on either of my 2 mobile phones in a week? What I call priorities. I will do the work I am paid for & even go beyond the call of duty.
On the bus dis morn couldn’t stand me heel with the stench cuming from 1 like me – elderly Black Lady? LaM becauz me know sey me lose 1 a my SENSES years ago am particularly careful in ensuring that I use the good ole water & soap + all di other stuff to help with the BO. I doan waan nubady cum skin up dem nose when me round dem a Gih tall? & me frens me a beg unuh fi tell me if unuh smell any wiffs cuming from my way as I believe it betta me hear from me frens & I won’t feel nuh ways? We inherit the BO from we fambly & sweat from head 2 toes – & if unuh doan believe me just ask me likkle breda EJEN… Peeps me a beg unuh fi just tek care ina di sweltering HEAT & don’t let unuh arms smell lika warm yarm…? & as fi di bun up kettle dem dat a cuss black tea bun pot black, please pick di Beam outa unuh Nose b4 unuh smell di peeps dem tinking armpit?
Just heard that BH wont be at Brixton Academy on Sunday? Well am not 2 disappointed because I’ve seen him many times>>> Going 2 ketch Morgan Heritage!!! So hear there is refund available?
Welcome 2 the Big 50’s little Big Breda ADA NEMBHARD! We shared lots in common – 19th & U came after me 2>>> Have a Fab 50th BD & we ketch up wid fi we & other people’s bizz soon? XXX Ratty the Big older little Sister!!!
I am a Jamaican is with Jellissa Successful Taffe and 42 others. · JAMAICA!!! Wi Likkle But Wi Tallawah!!! Help mi big up Miss Lou – Wish you were here!All reactions:1Fitzroy Scott8ShareOn this day11 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard · Shared with PublicDespite Moi MisGIVings… 2day wasn’t such a bad 1 arta all…? At least I was aknowledged, valued & appreciated 4 Moi Contributions!!! Lets see how 2morow pans out…?All reactions:2Fitzroy Scott and 1 other7ShareOn this day12 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard updated her profile picture. · Shared with PublicAll reactions:1128ShareOn this day12 years agoActiveMervelee Ratty Nembhard added 9 new photos to the album: THE BUSINESS WOMAN — with Nursery World Magazine and 7 others. · Me at work doing what I do BEST… Selling the Potatoes to raise FUNDS 4 outing!!!+5All reactions:3Annette May Kellner, Andrea Johnson and 1 other338ShareYou’re All Caught UpCheck back tomorrow to see more of your memories!
Fight4justice 