When Suicide is the only Option?

Reasons Why I Will Not Be a Suicide Statistic 18th November 2017
 
Although I have been having my personal problems which keep me busy these past years from the time I got back from burying my Mother in July 2014 and transferred to BIB, LEYF Nurseries http://www.leyf.org.uk. I am still trying to keep abreast of the news from home, in Jamaica and across the globe. That’s why when I heard of the suicide of a child from back home, I was more than distressed, and could not stop from thinking about the way how my life has unravelled because of toxic people and the toxic working environment. Although I do not know the little chappie, I know his family on both sides. The local communities that are the stomping grounds where I grew up are the places from which there are many stalwarts who are the influencers, who are part of my life.
 
I was born near the Townhead Cross Roads heading towards Ground Road, for those who travel the shortcut to Hanover, via the terrains of Bull Head. My family moved to GaGa Street in late 1963 and that has been my family home ever since. God permits, I am making plans to go back and spend my twilight years where I was born and grown. I am hoping to be able to make valuable contributions to improving the capitals of my country, using the knowledge gained from the years I lived in the UK and making the most of my opportunities at the Department for Education https://ofqual.gov.uk/qualifications-and-assessment/qualification-frameworks/levels-of-qualifications/. I am choosing to write this because of my own experiences from the 19th October 2017, when I nearly became part of yet another statistics.
 
Funnily enough I appeared in the http://www.hctgroup.org HCT Group Impact Report 2016, page 9. I was not aware that on the other page there was the statistic of 1 in 5 suicides are associated with unemployment until it was pointed out to me by none other than the Barrister Ryan Clement, http://www.ryanclement.com/. Whom my Coach Winsome Duncan: Author & Public Speaker of http://www.peachespublications.co.uk introduced me to. Little did I know of the misfortune that was to befall me later? That’s why, my heart goes out to the family of the little boy who reached the end of his tether. And felt he had no other alternatives but to commit suicide. When I heard the story, it was totally different to what is now trending on Social Media. Now I have to clarify that this is yet another #suicide that is different from the child’s whose family I know. Therefore, there seems to be an epidemic outbreak of younsters taking their own lives?
 
The Importance of Resilience for Emotional Intelligence – Emotional Capital
 
Apparently he, had attempted taking his life before and finally managed to get it done after leaving a chilling message, about his ordeals of bullying and harassment. I am saddened by the entire situation and I will have to share an insight into my life for you to begin to understand where I am coming from. If you are familiar with my story so far, you will know that I grew up with 7 brothers, 5 older and 2 younger. I was a proper Tom Boy, who was just one of the boys, as the issues of being an only girl didn’t enter the equation until much later. I was left to be one of the boys, even when my Mother keep an eye on me and the fan belt was always at hand to keep me in line. Sometimes I only escape the discipline when my brothers beg for me.
 
With my Mother, there was no escaping therefore, it was best to take the punishment or next time it would be doubled. My Father on the other hand was more forgiving and lenient. If you manage to get away, that’s it, so I got beaten by my Papa only once. My one beating was for cursing, and I believe that was going to form the Passive Aggressive Behaviours that saved me from myself later. On reflections, I would not call the discipline I get from my Parents as abuse. Because if I was not punished for my misdemeanour, I would probably be a totally different person from who I am today. The transitional developments that were to take place in my life from the time I reached puberty, would change my life for ever. The changes happened gradually over a period of time from my Papa was struck down with Parkinson’s disease http://www.parkinson.org.uk.
 
At the time I did not know what happened, except that I was different, as I was affected by my Papa’s illnesses that led to the childhood traumas that changed my life. I was no longer the Tom Boy who could do everything like my brothers, and I regressed into myself. I had taken on my Papa’s symptoms that come with him being sick with his nerves. Well you know what the village lawyers were like in any community, they know everything, without actually knowing anything? I certainly didn’t know anything about Parkinson’s, back then. The village lawyers said my Papa had worked too hard and did not have any sinuses left in his nerves. I don’t know when I started taking on Papa’s symptoms, but I was unable to perform in public and would get the shakes, and the tremors, along with the palpitations and unable to control my gross and finer motor skills.
 
I was a nervous bumbling wreck, who was unable to talk coherently because of the palpitations which caused the tightness in my chest. Over time I changed from the confident little girl who was my Papa’s pet to this person with two personalities. One personality, when I am in my comfort zones and the other who is a nervous wreck. To save myself the agony, I stayed out of the limelight and retreated into the background. Without realising at the time, I was using the early intervention strategies from the expert theorists to manage my Disabilities, which are been used by MQ: Transforming mental health http://www.mqmentalhealth.org/Mental-Health/Mental-Illness to provide support for those experiencing Mental Health Conditions.
 
Sharing my experiences of having Parkinson’s in my DNA is also used on http://www.parkinsons.org.uk.research and I am proud of myself for speaking out and not be ashamed of who I am. I have decided to be part of research http://www.iopkcl.ac.uk resulting from the counselling at the Maudsley Hospital http://www.slam-iapt.nhs.uk/southwark as I am aware that there are people in Leadership and Management post like at London Borough of Southwark sen@southwark.gov.uk that are not trained to carry out their jobs. That’s why I have to refer you to the Employment Tribunal, https://www.gov.uk/employment-tribunal-decisions/ms-m-myers-v-london-early-years-foundation-2300047-2016. This is to remind you that as they say Legal Entity do not discriminate, people do. In due course I will publish the names of the organisations and individuals that colluded to discriminate against me over the years with LEYF Nurseries.
 
Because that’s why there can be another miscarriages of justice after I was part of research by Dr Maria Hudson of University of Essex https://www.essex.ac.uk. Recommendations were made to Acas, http://www.acas.org.uk/researchpapers and nothing was done like when I raised concerns about the discrimination to UNISON, http://unison.org.uk/ which resulted in the blacklisting and networking which changed my life. The first book from my Father was a copy of the Bible and I went on to pass Bible Knowledge with credit before I left Primary School. My love of reading as a pastime developed and I started writing. Sometimes all I did was write down the thoughts happening in my head and planning a life out of the life that had befallen me from the books I read. On top of that I was an unhappy little girl, approaching Puberty and I was confused as well.
 
I just didn’t know what was happening to me, that at some stages I questioned if my parents really were my parents. I grew up within a Christian household and I guess that despite my misgivings, this is the faith in God that has kept me going. At times I questioned God and asked why me and my family. When I could not find any answers, then I guess that’s when I sought refuge in the Passive Aggressive Behaviours that was to be my salvation. My only regret, is that cursing was a way of getting back at my Papa for being sick and leaving me to suffer. At the time I have no way of knowing back then what caused me to be different from my peers. But I dealt with my situations the best way I know how. As well as all the people who contributed to my life, I must first mention my Primary School Teacher Ms Una Perry.
 
She supported me to develop the resilience that was to lay the foundation for my future. Ms Una taught me that giving up was not an option and there is always another way to solve a problem. When I reached puberty my Mother planted another seed in my head that was the way I would end up protecting myself for the rest of my life. Although I interpreted her warnings the wrong way, this was the marker for my relationships later on. However, without a doubt I am still looking for that special love that my Father gave me and which I always thought I lost when he was struck down with Parkinson’s. I am proud that I was able to help mum to care for him until his dying days. I was the last to see him alive and first to find him dead, that’s why I am upset about what is happened to that child who thought there was no other way out than to leave a legacy behind.
 
The legacy that some will use to define his family and who knows the impacts for his family over the years, he is dead therefore they are the ones who will need support. I developed childhood traumas because of my experiences linked to my Father’s prolonged illness and the poverty in which my life was plunged. I was not abused as http://www.peachespublications.co.uk tried to take over the copyright to my book and tried to write her story as mine. Because I was just too feisty to allow anyone to get the better of me. My only regret is the fact that not everyone believe in me and I would always be trying to justify myself and waiting on the approvals of others, which were not always forthcoming. This lead to my angst and caused me to be always trying to live up to the expectations of others.
 
The Story of the Boy Who Committed Suicide
 
Listening to that child on the video, talking about why I decided to commit suicide is soul destroying. However I am so happy for myself that I was instilled with the resilience from early on in my life to deal with everything life was going to throw at me later. I grew up in a community where, it takes the village to raise the child. I doubt anyone knew what was happening to me, because I didn’t understand myself. But I did find solace in writing things down, even when I didn’t chat much about it. I have a vivid imagination and I hoped and prayed that one day my life would change. I consider that I am from the other side of the track for a number of reasons. Some people used to describe me as shy, feisty, worthless, out of order, any negative narratives were the ones use to label and tag me.
 
Most times I was hurt but I would pretend that I was not bothered, but I am very good at hiding my feelings. I wrapped myself in this cocoon, dreaming one day that my life would change. I am sure that’s what my Mother done throughout her life, hoping that one day she would be rescued from her life of toiling for others. In the end, I am glad I was able to contribute to her dreams of living in a nice little home with modern facilities Facebook https://www.facebook.com/public/Mervelee-Myers. I am thankful for some exceptional friends, mostly males who I have the most fantastic positive relationships with. The most memorable was with #LloydMercy who wanted us to be more than just friends.
 
But because of who his family were, I just was not convinced. I guess this was in some ways due to the influence of my Mother, who thought we were lower class, despite her family, being well to do in their time. I still recall Lloyd Mercy saying my Mother is a nice lady, if you only get to know her. Because of our close relationship, he was mistakenly named as my first son’s father. But we did not have that kind of relationship and I am glad that I did get to know his mother, even if years later. Mrs Mercy turns who I get to know, she is really one of the loveliest lady I have had the privilege of knowing. That’s why it’s such a mystery that the little chappie could not have known her Great-grandmother for the kind compassionate lady who she is. I later know her to be and talk to her about what was bothering him.
 
People using my Kindness for Weakness
 
Lots of people fail to understand me, while others go out of their way to take advantage of my generosity and be exploitive in the bargain. I have had my unfair sharing of angst in Jamaica which I have dealt with over the years. Therefore I will not be thinking of stirring up some of the matters which are better left lying buried. All I will be saying to everyone who has been a part of my life, I am more than grateful. Life might not have turned out the way we expected, but for every experiences, there has been some additional values to my life. I refuse to turn the clock back either and try fix anything, life was meant to be exactly the way it is. My old folks used to say, you do, you do yourself and I will leave it at that. Since I come to the UK, I have always maintained that God brought me here for a purpose and did not allow me to go to the USA.
 
I am still waiting to find my purpose and I did not know that God would allow me to go through yet more trials and tribulations in another workplace after King’s College Hospital and the death of another of my loved ones. So how did I get to this chapter in my life after coming back from burying my Mother in July 2014? My stories are out in cyberspace, therefore I will move forward to why I have decided to write about the tragedy that happened to a child whose family I know. And now discovering that there is still another child who left a chilling reminder of his suicide for others to be tearing his family apart. If I was a different person, this might have been me. Either matters would have become too much for me or I decided to take the easiest way out. Or when the malicious people who plotted my downfall and demise to steal my money sent the Southwark Police Station and London Ambulance Service NHS Trust to my home, I would be murdered? As you can see I am not that kind of person to take the easiest way out, or to just sit idly by and accept the injustices from anyone.
 
The Communities Where I Was Blessed To Be Part Of
 
If I tell you that my life was perfect where I grew up, I would be telling lies. However, I will reflect on my life and reiterate that I was privileged in many ways because of where I was born and raised. But I would be painting a false picture if I said everything was the best. That’s why I am writing this story to clear up some of the myths from a video, left by a child who feels that suicide was the only option left for him. I say this because I know the elderly family from my generations, of another suicide victim from Jlp Western Westmoreland. I am wishing he could have gone to speak to someone, the same way he left that video. Because all he has done is opened a can of worms that put his family under scrutiny which will impact on their lives for ever. I am saying this because of some of the experiences over the years.
The one closest to my heart is that of #Lindel_aka_LloydieLEGISTER.
 
He was taken from his parent’s home, probably tortured and brutally MURDERED by the Jamaica Constabulary Force Security Forces, during the start of the history that was to gradually lead to why Westmoreland is now the crime capital of Jamaica. It was a case of mistaken identity, but the lengths the authorities went through to cover up their mistakes is recorded. But what hurt me the most is the way some people behaved. When I read some of the negativity about this child’s family on Social Media I am livid and have to reflect on what happened back then. I have never heard Ms Connie talked about her youngest child who was taken out of his bed and the next time she saw him was in a casket for his burial.
What happened to me last year after trolls from my own local communities decided to join in to tear me down, make it even harder for me to understand why some people are so evil. That’s why I will never give up my Fight4justice campaign. As far as the world is concerned, owing to the data that the http://www.justice.gov.uk/tribunals/employment/claims/responding posted online I am a MAD CRIMINAL. But you know what, they are the ones who need to examine their conscience as to why they have made the judgement that they decided? My GOD is my judge and no man or woman can judge me.
 
The Education Act 1981: Ofsted to be responsible for regulation of day care and out-of-school care. Settings required to meet 14 National Standard. Standard 7 (Health), 9 (Equal Opportunities), 10 (SEND). These 14 Standards were superseded by the EYFS following the Childcare Act 2006. 2006 was when I was diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety, as no one wanted to deal with me saying I have Parkinson’s. Well I have now done the research and discovered my condition is called Atypical Parkinsonism. My condition is hard to diagnose and hard to treat. However I have been using my early intervention strategies to manage until the discrimination at KINGS triggered my childhood traumas into Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I experienced a bereavement.
 
When I contacted UNISON, and Kings College Hospital NHS Foundation Trust Mapother House Day Nursery, HR Department about my concerns about inappropriate practices, they behaved the same way that LEYF has done years later. Therefore proof that this is the practice in the Early Years Sector. Southwark Council sen@southwark.gov.uk decided that I was to be ridiculed for raising concerns because I did not have a status and was studying at the The Open University http://www.aoug.org.uk/awards. However, I am of the opinion that they viewed my knowledge as threats to their incompetence. If in doubt see Ofsted http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/parents because one of the child on the Poster was my key child. I can name the other child and the adult in the photo who was also pushed out of her job by the Manager. The Manager, who triggered my childhood trauma into PTSD from 2004 until I was forced to resign in 2008.
 
Education Reform Act 1988: Employers and those providing services must make reasonable adjustments to their services to ensure that they are not discriminating against disabled people. Education providers where exempt, prompting discussion about continued tolerance of discrimination against children and young people. That’s why I want the government to carry out an inquiry into the Early Years Sector. I have been in contact with http://www.gov.uk/Number10 from October 2015 and it’s been ongoing communications.
 
Employment Equality Regulations: Amended the Race Relations Act 1976 to include a statutory duty on public bodies to promote race equality, good relations between different ethnic groups, and to demonstrate effectiveness of anti-discrimination procedures. In 2003 additional regulations also outlawed certain forms of discrimination due to religious beliefs. My stories are in cyberspace, if you want to know why former employers like #JyotiSharma are sharing their concerns about LEYF on their websites, once they manage to get out of the grasp of those who sanction discrimination and can give an employee a 6 line Reference which make sure I can’t get another job. But not only that the Barrister for the Respondent keep on drumming it out to make up time. Because she did not prepare a case and used unprofessional methods of claiming sick to get the case adjourned. Then she used my https://www.facebook.com/public/Mervelee-Myers to make a spectacle of herself. But I told Bates Wells & Braithwraite London http://www.bwbllp.com of my intentions about my Fight4justice. Also John Fenton Personnel Consultancy Services http://www.personnelconsultancy.com.
 
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child: Article 14 states that it is a basic entitlement of humans to enjoy their rights and freedoms without discrimination on any grounds. That’s why I will continue to write, sharing my experiences about how 2 employers were supported by the Employment Tribunals, the establishments and the systems to strip me of my dignity and label me a MAD CRIMINAL and leave me at the mercies of the psychopaths.

One thought on “When Suicide is the only Option?

  1. It’s a good thing I done my research, or else I would have gotten ot totally wrong. There are 2 suicides in the space of a few weeks from 2 boys in the parish of Westmoreland. One is ny hanging and the other by shooting. The most chilling thing is to hear the video left by that 13 year old boy before he committed suicide. Regardless of whatever might have caused these children to see suicide as a way out, I think it’s time for us to act now. To tackle Mental Health Conditions in children and young people. But also to take actions to address why I was left to having my childhood traumas triggered and exacerbated into PTSD in 2 workplaces? The chilling fact is that the video left by that child tells it exactly like it is. The Employment Tribunals presided over 2 miscarriages of justice. And at the end of the day affirm the discrimination, labelling me a MAD CRIMINAL. Thereby giving those with ulterior motives to continue using my vulnerability against me.

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